How to Write a Great First Message — MenAskEm How to Write a Great First Message — MenAskEm

How to respond to online dating message not interested, answer their questions

Those messages are shallow and meaningless — the online equivalent of getting dry-humped by douche bags in a club. The questions are the gas. When guys write a lot more, they come on too strong. I found that if I gave a polite rejection to a rude or explicit message, the person would continue to message me, but if I ignored it from the start, they left me alone.

I think my favorite was "I don't think we're looking for the same things" which suggests that we're not a good match for each other, rather than them not being good enough for me. I've seen some profiles where they actually state that they would prefer a response, even if it's a rejection, and others that don't want you to reply and "waste their time" if you're not interested.

This is overwhelming to girls. With your first message, your goal is to make us want to continue talking to you.

1. Focus on quality, not quantity.

Women can't really win with this question, because we're criticized for leading men on or wasting their time, and we're criticized for rejecting them too quickly before we "give them a chance" or "get to know them. Tony Great question, Tony!

Your feedback is private. You could easily lead by asking her the question: Like this first message example: We get so many of those lazy mass-messages that we just ignore them. Anything beyond that just isn't your job. This guy does a nice job asking an easy question based on stuff we both like: Leave us wanting more.

I disagree with Savant on that, although I agree of course that everyone deserves respect.

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Regardless, if you don't ask any new questions, the message thread will usually peter out on its own. Girls love when you ask us questions.

Compliment common interests and personality — not looks. To achieve this, you have to ask her questions. If someone makes you uncomfortable at all, I suggest not replying. Your first message should make a simple introduction, express your interest in her profile, ask one or two long-game questions about things you share in common, and then simply sign-off with your name.

First of all, you're never obligated to reply.

How to respond to your first message.

Look for girls with common interests, shared beliefs, and similar goals. Another polite way to respond is to answer their questions but not ask any of your own, which is a way of suggesting that you aren't particularly interested but you might just be mistaken for someone who doesn't know how to make conversation.

This is a great message for three reasons: Online dating is a little like gaming. And you also deserve your own respect- which includes respecting your own needs and comfort level.

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Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics. Look for spelling and grammatical errors these are deal-breakers to some girls.

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Girls see through this. If there were glaring differences, I sometimes politely pointed out that they wouldn't like me e. Unfortunately there's no easy answer, especially since different people prefer different things.

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Writing a message and getting a girl to reply is the final battle with the boss. It works because Scott picked something from my profile that he was truly curious about, explained why he was curious, and therefore established a common interest in cooking.

But it can also be more complicated than that. A couple lines, or a paragraph or two is great. Those girls are much more likely to respond to you because you are a good fit.

Then there's the opposite: